Speaker 1: 0:02

Welcome to the Starter Girls podcast, the show dedicated to the Starter Girl. She's an achiever, she's a creator, she's a magic maker, she's a dreamer and she is doing all the things. I'm your host, jennifer Looney, and welcome to this episode. All right, here we are another episode of the Starter Girls podcast, and I'm so excited about my guest today, barbie Engel. She is a reality personality dealing with multiple rare and chronic diseases, which I think makes her incredible. She's a chronic pain educator, a patient advocate, motivational speaker and a best-selling author on pain topics. Her blog Modeling Reality shows, articles and media appearances are used as a platform to help chronic and rare disease communities, and so many of you have been following me for any period of time know that I've suffered from my own debilitating chronic issues, and so I'm always excited when I meet other aspiring women that are dealing with adversity and learning how to push through it anyway. So welcome to the show, barbie. I'm so thrilled to have you here today.

Speaker 2: 1:10

Thank you, jennifer, I'm so excited to be here and share with your audience, and I'm so glad that we have these important platforms, such as Starter Girls, to share these messages.

Speaker 1: 1:20

Absolutely, absolutely, and I think, yes, when you meet, I think, kindred souls, right as people that have to deal with things, and we learn to push through it anyways, I think it's such a refreshing thing for our listeners to see that, yes, we can do things, even despite some of the limitations that want to keep us in these, stuck right, like we can do this anyways. So I'm excited to chat with you today. So I want to open this up a little bit and talk a little bit about what you're doing, because you're speaking and you've written all these books, and so give us a little bit of. If you had to tell somebody who is Barbie Ingle.

Speaker 2: 1:55

Yes, oh, so difficult. Now, I'm a very fascinating person, like many in the world, and I am an author, like you said. I've done reality television, which is probably the most unique and interesting area, and I also am a wife and an aunt and I've also run. I've started and run multiple successful businesses before I became a rare disease and chronic patient and then after, and what a different experience both of those situations were.

Speaker 1: 2:28

Yeah, absolutely so. Yeah, let's maybe talk about that a little bit, because I think you know, as a female entrepreneur I mean we are, you know, on a day to day, we're all always dealing with challenges, I think, right. And then, to talk that off, some of the things you're dealing with, I think it make it a little trickier at times, right, because when you're not feeling 100% all the time, you're not always really wanting to be top notch, right, like there's some days we just want to go off, but I think, as women, we do that anyways, right. So let's talk about this, maybe this you know, these different businesses, like what this is like for you and how you've learned to maybe weather through these, these I don't want to say limitations, because I don't think they are, because you've learned to get around them, but, right, to a lot of people they would be limitations- they would, and I reframed how I look at them and I call them challenges instead of limitations.

Speaker 2: 3:19

And now when I face an issue, I call it a challenge and I figure out a way to go over under, through around so that I can accomplish the goal. And it's about a rare disease. After being successful in business for 10 years, it really showed me that I had to think outside the box and I couldn't get stuck on doing it this one particular way, but I had to be open to trying new things, different ways and doing all of the activities despite being bed bound and wheelchair bound. And now I've been able to find treatments that help me. So I'm up and active and doing things as I can, but I still face challenges, and when I turn them from issues and problems to challenges, it fully gave me a different way of living life and being successful at the things that I am able to do.

Speaker 1: 4:14

Yeah, and it's interesting that you say that, because I was diagnosed with a rare nerve condition after I became an entrepreneur. So we're talking. You know, I started my first business in 1999.

Speaker 2: 4:28

And then in 2012,.

Speaker 1: 4:29

I was diagnosed with this rare nerve condition and it rocked my world. I mean, it turned everything I knew upside down right. It was awful.

Speaker 2: 4:41

This affects your life. Every single aspect is affected Financial, spiritual, mental, physical. Everything is in. For me, it changed in the eight second car accident that triggered a rare disease, and the more I fought to hold on to my business and to my life, the worse it got. So I've had to let go and rebuild and restructure every aspect of my life, just like you have had to do.

Speaker 1: 5:08

I love that you said that too the let go part, because I just had this conversation with somebody the other day and you're going to totally get this, so I shared with you. I think that I was in Mary Kay Cosmetics for a really long time. I was with the company for 22 years. I'd been a director for. After two years being in the company, I became a director and I held that position for 15 years before I stepped down. But the year that I stepped down, I want to say it was around 2017, 2018.

Speaker 1: 5:33

And I remember, like pondering on this for like six months I'm talking like a long time in my world because I didn't want to let it go.

Speaker 1: 5:41

For one thing, because I felt like I was going to be a quitter. I didn't want to let it go, and then also because people had respected my position. I had worked hard and I had people that were really counting on me to be there. But what I realized is because I was dealing with such a painful disorder that, like you, I had to let it go, because I was trying so hard to juggle parenthood my kids were young being a mom, being a business owner and then trying to maintain my health and you know, one day I woke up and I tell the story all the time I sat up in the morning, because I get up at five o'clock every day of the week pretty much and that morning, that particular morning, I got up and I just today, was the day I knew that was the day I needed to let it go.

Speaker 1: 6:21

And I remember, you know, sending in my resignation to the company, saying I'm stepping down from my position, and I remember crying about it for a day. But the very next day, the very next day, it was like the brick was off my back. I could now breathe and take the time I needed to heal me, to work on what I needed to work on, and that was getting me back to a state where I could function.

Speaker 2: 6:41

Yes, absolutely. I slowly relate to that and for me, I was going to doctor appointments every single day prior to developing a rare disease. I was the head. She earned the highest position at Washington State University living my dreams I worked my entire life to get to. And I also, straight out of college, even before I got that head coaching position at Washington State, I started my insurance training company a week after I graduated college.

Speaker 2: 7:13

I had no idea what I was going to do. I got a degree in psychology but still being in dance was my life and I was in a new state with my new husband and said what should I do? And I was on a walk, exercising and I saw students practicing and I was like they suck, they need my help. And from that idea, a week after college graduation, I had my own business. Wow, and I had built it up to something grand and doctors after my accident were saying you'll never have this again, you need to just give it up and stop trying to hold on. And I didn't want to listen, I didn't want to hear that and I had that moment where you have to say okay, my purpose in God is to do this in life. And the doctors, everybody around me is telling me I can't do anymore. I'm having trouble getting out of bed on those days and what am I going to do?

Speaker 2: 8:12

And I had that same type of situation. I let myself cry. I let myself realize no one can ever take those accomplishments away from me, that I was able to accomplish those things in my life. I touched it to Rose Bowl on the field. There's just some 100 people that have done that, and at the time and now, I was one of the women to coach you on the field at the Rose Bowl. So, and I got to do it twice in my career. No one can ever take that away. But will I ever do it again? Probably not. And how do I build and put my life back together? And that's what I did.

Speaker 1: 8:52

I love it, barbie, and I did not know that about you. So, wow, you've got all kinds of cool things that are just back there. I have a feeling we could find out so much from you about what you've done.

Speaker 1: 9:00

But I think the big thing here that you're talking about is, like this pivot that you've had to make, and I think you come to accept that you can't probably be the way you were before and do those same things, but you have an ability now to do different things and take what you know, the knowledge, the experience, everything that you've taken from that right and use it in a different way now, and I think that's what's great about all this.

Speaker 2: 9:20

Right, I was a physical cheerleader in every sense of the word and I had to shift, but I knew I still wanted to be a cheerleader. So instead of a physical cheerleader I became a cheerleader of hope and to actually use my degree more now, coaching other patients and caregivers and industry leaders and showing them what it's like from a chronic patient side that many don't get to see or vary themselves in that situation and don't know how to handle it because there have been no road map.

Speaker 1: 9:53

Yeah, no, that's good. And I think it's great when you can speak to something because you've gone through it Not that you have to, you know. I would say it's unfortunate that we have to go through the things we have to go through, but I think there's purpose in those right, like there's something, there's some way to take that and use that for the good of other people, and it sounds like you're getting to do that. So I think that there's some win in all of this.

Speaker 2: 10:15

Absolutely. And the entrepreneur in me was still there, right, you know, I could physically go to a backhand spring or get thrown up in a basket toss, but I still had all the time management and organization skills and things that I learned as a cheerleader and as a coach besides physical that could take forward with me and maintain those skills.

Speaker 1: 10:37

Sure, that's awesome, barbie. I had a question I was going to ask you. Oh, I know what I wanted to ask you because this was like, as you were talking, I'm thinking about this. So I would love to know, because I know we all have kind of our own. I think we say a lot of the similar things, but I feel like we all say them a little bit differently, right, yes, and we have our ways that we get through these. So I would like to know, from your perspective, what are some things that you do for yourself that have really been instrumental in helping you move forward and do these businesses and be able to keep going like you do?

Speaker 2: 11:09

I think there's four steps. The first one is creating oasis around you. Have the things at your ready, the tools and resources in your life, and don't be afraid to use them. And again, when we're fighting a situation that's probably not the right situation, what do you need to do to fix it? So create that oasis.

Speaker 2: 11:33

The second thing was I got my uni, so what I put into my body as well as drinking water, none of us are as hydrated as we should be and we Drinking enough water each day to maintain a healthy, balanced body. It's really important. And then learning and researching about my medical conditions and understanding what's right, what's wrong. You know, I might feel good in the morning if I spring wrangle and it swells, but because I have this rare disease, ice is not good for me, for my future. I like to balance those things and then reaching out and seeking help when needed. I'm not going to people forget that part that there have been people that have gone through what you have before you and there's resources and and things that you can bring into your life, that you can use, that are not already in your life. So re evaluating those things by getting organized and seeing what is of your life need improvement.

Speaker 1: 12:35

Yeah, that's all good. I well, and I agree with you on all of those, and I think research is key to knowing especially. You know, I feel like with these kinds of things and and I don't know how you, how you know what, you, if you feel like sharing, like you know what you're dealing with. As far as you know chronic things, that's totally up to you. But I feel like when you're in a situation where you have to deal with something chronic up, you know, I've often said, if you go, like you said, the ice, if you go into the hospital because we're having a heart attack or you're having an insulin problem or broke bone, you know.

Speaker 1: 13:02

So I'm not minimizing those, but what I'm saying is they know how to deal with those situations. Because it's we have this situation. Here's what we do when you have a situation where you're dealing with something that's not really necessarily a textbook condition. I mean, there may be a disease, they may have a name for it, but they don't really have a cure for it. Right, because it's a chronic condition. And I think that's where education becomes immensely important. Right, like it's, we have to do the research and and understand, because nobody's going to heal us, nobody's going to fix us, we're going to have to do it. And I think that really it's kind of the same way when we go through business like nobody's going to fix our business, we have to do it, right.

Speaker 2: 13:44

Absolutely. They correlate in so many ways and there's times where I'm at the emergency room, which I try to avoid, because they don't know how to treat rare diseases and or don't have the equipment or medications or whatever it is that we need. And so when I do find myself in a year I have a doctor's fight and finally with each other on what to do for me. I thought to speak up and say no, do not give me that. I don't want that medication. I have a rare disease and I have actually multiple rare diseases.

Speaker 2: 14:15

The worst one is reflex sympathetic dystrophy, also known as central pain syndrome, and it affects my whole body. Reflex is anything in your body that's automatic goes haywire. So your digestion, your heart, your breathing, your thinking all of that goes haywire. Your sympathetic nervous system that's the S R, s D S is burning fire, pain that runs through my body. Some people have it regionally, I have it throughout my entire body and this is loss of muscle and bone, which is why I spent about seven years in a wheelchair or bed bound because I was dealing with new traumas, trying to find cures and there isn't any for this rare disease.

Speaker 2: 14:56

There's treatments, there's no cures, and there's very limited doctors that know what those treatments are and they can help. So it's absolutely something that you have to get up and make it your business. When you have a chronic disease or rare disease, you have to make it your business to take care of yourself first and then get yourself in order and then you can expand and do these other things. I didn't wake up and we're all the rare disease, but I still want to have a business, so I'm going to run and do these things. I had to get my life in order and then I was able to help, starting on profit, help my husband start a couple of businesses, help some other family friends start their businesses and really take them through the process. But unless I put my own oxygen on first and took care of me, those other things would have failed.

Speaker 1: 15:41

Yeah, this is so good and so true, so true. And when you were talking earlier about the telling the doctors this, I've been in your. I don't know how you feel, but on some level I can totally resonate with what you're saying because I feel like there's been so many times I've been in the ER I have I have a chronic condition. That's. It's a rare thing and it's the same thing. You go in, the doctors don't know how to treat it. In fact, I had a procedure done in February of 22 and I developed ancreatitis the day that they did the procedure and when I went into the ER they didn't even know what I had, what the condition was that I even had.

Speaker 1: 16:17

So, I had to tell them you can't give me, you can't give me morphine because that'll trigger it, so don't give me that. I'm telling you know, and they're finally just you, I mean that literally does it.

Speaker 2: 16:28

So it's like family code genomics and I was able to take it. The face I took it it was. It was not approved, but it was an option for me to get and I took it and the results were just Impossible to read. My doctor was like you need to go home and research all this and give me the papers. And I was going through and researching it and a few years later to actually approved it and they made it very readable for patients and providers. Now it's color coded. I know this is a red Medication. Do not do not believe me. This is yellow. It's caution green. I'm good to go.

Speaker 2: 17:02

My body's going to metabolize it and I individualize my medical care for me.

Speaker 2: 17:07

So now when I go into that emergency room, I was going through a lumpectomy and I go in for surgery and the surgeon is like the we're going to give you purple fall and this and that, and going to listen, I was like no, you're not.

Speaker 2: 17:22

And I was going to open up my book it's very genetics and say this is why you're not going to give me these medications and we're going to do this other thing and it really changed those types of situations for me and I think I have been working on a bill this past year here in Arizona to get turned into lots and get genetic testing for newborns. I think every Person that wants to have their genetics tested in this way should have the option and opportunity and then that our insurance companies to be paying for, because it saves them money in the long run. So because we don't have to go through fail first and step therapy practices and Go through all the complications and bad side effects of medications. I know it's going to work for me, so it's not going to be a fight anymore. It's going to be read my book.

Speaker 1: 18:15

There you go. Good for you. And again, sometimes you know, I think it's good if you, if you know you're having to deal with something and you're going to be in a position where you're going to have to deal with it chronically, then you, it's a good idea to know your body and know what you can do and what you can't, and I feel you on that one. So I think that's the part we share.

Speaker 2: 18:32

So in the business, keep track of what you're doing. How's it working, what's positive in the situation, what's negative, how do I fix those negatives to get more wins and really check. Same thing you have to do with your health. You have to do it on the thriving business that thrives.

Speaker 1: 18:51

Yeah, well, and thank you, because I was going to ask you what advice would you give to an entrepreneur, and you just did that for me. But you know what? Listen, I always say this I say how you do one thing is how you do all things. And so you know, it's funny because when I work with I work with a lot of entrepreneurs and I'm kind of a unicorn in that I do both business and life coaching, because I'm from the holistic, I'm in the middle, and so I always tell them I say you cannot not take care of your health and take care of your business, like you have to have your body and your well-being. You have to have all that in place right, because it will catch up with you at some point and it's going to make your business suffer. It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow, but at some point it will.

Speaker 1: 19:27

And you and I are a true testament to having businesses and then having something happen. And then guess what happened? We lost our businesses or had to change and we had to make a pivot right. And although we know that some of this we may not have been able to prevent, I still think that our bodies, our temples and they are meant to be taken care of. And sometimes I feel like some of us have to have a few hard you know knocks on the head To get messages right and then we recognize that, hey, there's no separation in this. It's like how you do one thing is how you do all things.

Speaker 2: 19:59

Absolutely. It all interweaves into your life and if you constantly are coming up against challenges and I say my dad gives me devils and then gives me rocks, then gives me boulders, if I'm constantly running into boulders and having to struggle my way out of something, I'm not doing the right things. I have to go back and look at my patterns and see where can I correct this, where can I make it better, so that my future is brighter, more fulfilling, more accomplished. And those struggles, those challenges get us through.

Speaker 1: 20:34

That's so good that you said that too, because I think that that a lot of times and tell me if you agree with this I feel like a lot of times when we're doing things like that that are out of alignment, is because they're not really in alignment with our values, right, like we're doing things that are probably not really in alignment with what we think we should be doing or what we you know what I mean Like what we feel like we're doing, and so there's a lot of inner struggle, right, conflict and chaos, and A lot of people will take on guilt and make decisions in their business Based on a personal feeling or guilt or thing that they have going on in their private life, you have to maintain Okay, this is my business and I cannot let this bleed over into it and keep that business strong in that way.

Speaker 2: 21:19

Same thing If somebody tells you I've said this back in the 90s on her on her talk show If a person tells you who they are, believe them. If they say I'm a person or or I didn't say I'm strong, I'm a bad person, believe them. When they say that Don't bring that into your business and don't feel their guilt or accept or allow their guilt To come on you and your personal life or in your business. If the person with the appropriate walls to protect yourself in that situation so that it doesn't bring down your business, it doesn't bring down who is a person.

Speaker 1: 21:57

It's good, barbie, thank you, that's. That's excellent advice and I agree with you on that. It's, it's important and I think it's women A lot of times. I don't know about you, but I personally I wear sometimes, I feel people like they're, they're junk, right, like I feel it, and so I've had to be really particular about guarding my energy and who I allow into my life, because I feel like, you know, it's very easy for these people that have a lot of chaos and drama to sort of enter in, and then we want to absorb that because we want to be protectors or nurturers, whatever you want to call it right. So that's very good advice Don't absorb. I say don't absorb people's garbage, that's a great way to say it. So what do you have? Tell us? What do you have coming up soon? More speaking engagements or anything big? I know you said you're working on a, on a law or bill or something, but what else is going on for you?

Speaker 2: 22:44

I actually have a couple of TV appearances coming up in the next few months. I can't hear you, but you guys will see on national television. So, yeah, I decided. And then I have some in person presentations about health, chronic pain, issues of Through the medical system and how to overcome those challenges. And and they are big was project of every year is November. So we're starting our prep and preparations for their November project and we're doing a little bit different this year. About every 2 to 3 years we switched up. So this is a change here and you'll see a whole new project being announced in September about November and November and how people can get involved with that.

Speaker 1: 23:29

This is so awesome. Well, I can't wait to see what you do. I'm going to have to keep up with you and follow you so I can see where you're at and when these shows come out and stuff. I'm excited for you. So this has been great and I know I love these. I love the starter girls because we can get on here and just talk about important things that are relative, I feel like, to all of us females. I always feel like there's some part of us that connects with people, and so you are definitely an amazing woman. You're strong and I love what you're doing. If our audience wants to get in touch with you, where would you like us to send them?

Speaker 2: 23:57

You go to Barbie in goldcom, so Barbie with a Y angle, with an I, and you can also contact international painorg and get all the resources for various diseases and chronic diseases there on that website as well.

Speaker 1: 24:14

Perfect, all right, well, we'll make sure when we get this out, we'll get your website in there so they know where to find you, and I'm going to come hunt you down in your social media and stuff so I can follow what you're doing. I'm excited, so very good. So thank you so much for coming on here and sharing and being who you are and keep shining and making the world a better place.

Speaker 2: 24:33

Thank you, jen for you as well and everybody watching right now. Go give her 5 stars, tell her how she's impacting your life and continue to listen to all of her episodes, because they are making a difference and you are going to get tidbits and advice for many different guests that she set on. So go check those out.

Speaker 1: 24:50

Thank you, barbie. Yes, and we do want to say to our audience yes, if you love the show, please be sure you give us a rating over on Apple. Check us out on YouTube, hit that subscribe button and, as I always say, you guys take care, be safe and be kind to one another. We will see you next time.